STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

A Farmer went out in the snow one morning, to tend to his cows and found them all frozen.
A woman was passing by,she breathed on them and each one defrosted.
The farmer said to her, “Are you an Angel sent from heaven?”

“No”, said the woman,
“I’m Thora Hird!”

[Fuggletim]

I was once asked did I like Tolstoy?

I said “Well who doesn’t?”

I was then asked which was my favourite?

I said without a doubt the one where Woody and Buzz get accidentally given away to a children's home……

[Shot through (& throu]

I was once asked if I liked Dickens.

I said:"I don't know, I've never been to one.

[Anon E Mouse]

I was once asked if I liked Dickens.

I said:"I don't know, I've never been to one.

Don't have Great Expectations.

[Fuggletim]

Can I just say that it probably isn’t a good idea to drink and then wrap Christmas presents. If anyone gets a Sky remote control, can you please let me know as I really need it back….

[Anon E Mouse]

My mate William had to close his Wig Shop because I kept stealing his stock.
Well I'm sorry, but I do have Bill's Toupee.

[Birdman]

Street cleaners and binmen. They’re rubbish jobs aren’t they.

[Fuggletim]

My interview for a Security Guard did t go well. I was told I had to watch the office overnight, but I really don’t find Ricky Gervais all that funny actually…..

[Anon E Mouse]

I had a row with the wife last night and she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me…

It must have been Lenor as it was too close for Comfort!

[Ex Attendant]

Took me half an hour to defrost the global warming off my windscreen today.

[Anon E Mouse]

I saw 80’s pop star Jona Lewie ushering everyone out of the restaurant section of our local Toby Inn yesterday...

He was trying to stop the carvery...

[Chalkie]

"I'm going to scrape the car," the missus said to me this morning.

"Against what?" I asked...

[Richard Petty]

"I'm going to scrape the car," the missus said to me this morning.

"Against what?" I asked...

[Anon E Mouse]

Due to severe weather conditions the Government has issued this warning:

Anyone travelling should take blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, 24 hr food supply, 3 ltrs of water, safety triangle, tow rope, & a set of jump leads...

I looked a right knob on the bus this morning!

[Anon E Mouse]

I'm not as nostalgic as I used to be.
I really miss that.