STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Richard Petty]

A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."

The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!
The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir "

[Fuggletim]

I have often wondered where the inventor of the drawing board went back to after they realised the design had gone wrong?

[Richard Petty]

I have often wondered where the inventor of the drawing board went back to after they realised the design had gone wrong?

[Chalkie]

In America, a truck carrying Worcestershire sauce crashes:

Dispatcher: What's the situation?

Deputy: It's hard to say

[frimley_greener]

The difference between a Stoic and a cynic?
A Stoic brings the baby...the cynic is what you wash it in.....

[Fuggletim]

The problem living next to a great gardener is the grass is always greener on the other side.

[Gone West]

I hate talking about my dandruff problem. I’d rather just sweep it under the carpet.

[Fuggletim]

I saw a small broken down electric car on the A331 today. I stopped and asked if he needed the “AA?” He said thanks, but he was waiting for the “AAA”……..

[Anon E Mouse]

Left my phone under my pillow last night and when I woke up it was gone and there was a pound coin there. I think it was the Bluetooth fairy.

[Anon E Mouse]

I was going to put my dolphin in the bath but it's not fit for porpoise.

[Fuggletim]

“I have just started a 2 x year study into the colour blue” said the cyantist…….

[drewshotsfan]

A plane is on its way to Toronto , when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, l'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here."

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde sitting in first class, that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she is a blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her first class isn't going to Toronto.

[Fuggletim]

There were 2 x people knocked my door this morning. They looked quite religious and handed me a leaflet about vacuum cleaners.

I think they were Jehoover Witness’………

[Fuggletim]

Breaking News! Stephen King has agreed to appear on “Strictly Come Dancing” next year! He is looking forward to do the twist……

[Chalkie]

On a beautiful autumn day two motorcyclist were driving through Wales.
They stopped at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrollantysiliogogogoch for lunch, and one of the riders asked the waitress, 'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very slowly?'

The waitress leaned over and said, 'Burrr... gurrr... king'.....