STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Fuggletim]

I bought a 3 x foot ruler at a yard sale today…..

[Anon E Mouse]

I've been invited round the neighbours house for a pre-Christmas drink with nibbles…

Honestly, they treat that cat like royalty!

[Anon E Mouse]

During a recent password audit at work the following password came to light: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyBerlin.

The employee was asked why he had such a long password. He said, "I was told it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital!"

[Fuggletim]

I have taken up playing a woodwind musical instrument. Unfortunately, try as I might, I cannot play anything that isn’t composed in England, I think it is an Anglosaxaphone…….

[Chalkie]

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

The stables have turned.

[Lightwater Shot]

I paid a Carpenter to build us a bespoke double bed and I've just found out he’s done a bunk!

It’s just one thing on top of another ...

[Fuggletim]

It was a Christmas tradition that my Grandfather would tell jokes in front of the fire and in later years, my Dad used to.

Now the mantle has come down to me…….

[Richard Petty]

A friend of mine is suffering from delusions, he keeps thinking he's a chocolate Orange.

I am worried he is going to get sectioned.

Poor Terry

[Richard Petty]

When my girlfriend suggested playing Doctors and Nurses I wasn't expecting to be just left on a Trolley out in the Hall for 4 hours

[Richard Petty]

I recently hired a landscape gardener to sort out the mess in my garden

Unfortunately he cant help me as he says my garden is portrait

[Richard Petty]

I kicked my dog this morning and it bit me on the leg

My mate says its karma, I said no if anything I think its more angry

[Anon E Mouse]

My wife called me as I was sat in the pub last night.

"I've cooked dinner," she screamed. "And if you're not home within 20 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog."

"Woooah! That's bang out of order," I said. "It's not his fault!"

[Fuggletim]

It’s now well over 40 x years since my driving test. I remember the examiner asking me to pull up somewhere when safe to do so. After 5 x minutes he asked why I hadn’t pulled up anywhere safe and I told him we were still in Aldershot….

[Anon E Mouse]

Not a lot of people know this…..
Yul Brinner was a lifelong Liverpool fan and was allergic to aftershave…

That’s why they sing
“Yul never wore cologne”

[Fuggletim]

I turned over a brand new leaf today. The people at Westway Nissan were not happy, I can tell you…..