STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Fuggletim]

I was told once that I had a powerful personality!

I didn't know "Watt" to say to that!

[Fuggletim]

Following Storm Eunice last week we didn't have any electricity for about 14 x hours. The TV didn't work, the Internet was off, the 4G phone system went down, the pub was closed and local football was postponed. I decided to talk to my other half about it for a few hours. Seems quite a nice lady I thought.........

[WTF]

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me today.

Luckily my injuries were only Super Fish Oil.....

[WTF]

I just opened my fridge and it really smells of basil...
I think it's faulty!.....

[Fuggletim]

I've been seeing this beautiful woman for 3 x weeks, but unfortunately she has now started drawing the curtains......

[Anon E Mouse]

I can’t believe it’s Pancake Day tomorrow!

That really crêped up on me...

[Fuggletim]

I went to the library to see if they had any books about loud noise! The librarian said there was a whole encyclopaedia available, but I needed to select which volume!

[Anon E Mouse]

I had a row with my boss at lunchtime yesterday…

One of the perks of working at a boating lake!

[Fuggletim]

A pancake was walking down the street when they met a Hawaiian pizza. The pancake couldn't help thinking the makeup was a bit overdone....

[Anon E Mouse]

I bet Rick Astley really struggles with lent...

[Anon E Mouse]

My mate is so skint he's sent his boy off to school on World Book Day in his normal clothes and has told him to say he's come as an autobiography...

[Anon E Mouse]

I asked the librarian to recommend an author who writes dinosaur books.

"Try Sarah Topps," she replied...

WorldBookDay

[Richard Petty]

My wife claimed she was late coming home tonight because she was ambushed by a group of elderly men who pinned her down and repaired her shoes…

Sounds like a load of old cobblers to me!

[Richard Petty]

Sad news today. After years of medical training and hard work, a mate of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients so can no longer work in the profession.

What a waste of time and effort. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet

[Richard Petty]

don't see my wife and kids anymore due to my gambling…

I won the lottery and moved to Spain!