STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Shots1954]

The local police have received calls from Mr Dyke, Mr Gogh, Mr Diesel, Mr Morrison and Mr Der Valk ; all of whom have had their vans stolen......

[Shots1954]

I'm slowly getting over my obsession with Tipperary but there's a long way to go!

[Chalkie]

Yesterday I was told "Strip down facing me"

By the time I realised the cashier meant the debt card, it was too late.

[Richard Petty]

Can someone tell me if it's true that fishermen put maggots in their mouths in order to to warm them up?

Awaiting a reply with baited breath!

[Richard Petty]

I went to the doctors with a pain in my big toe.

He said, "Gout."

I said, "I've only just come in!"

[Richard Petty]

I just sold my homing pigeons on eBay for the 25th time!

[BillB]

The Last posting on here was Feb 13th, I thought it was Petty {Soz Richard, but I just couldn't resist.)...

[Fuggletim]

I have started a new social media website for Religious people who have speech impediments. It's called "Faithbook."

[Chalkie]

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.

But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.

The End.

[Fuggletim]

Following the success of my social media site for religious people with speech impediments called "Faithbook", I went for a meal at a local religious restaurant called "The Lord Giveth!"

Apparently, they also do takeaways as well!

[Anon E Mouse]

I asked the guy at the sweet shop why I could hear crying coming from one of the shelves.

He said; “That's a sensitive Topic…”

[Anon E Mouse]

I'm on a health kick. I've decided to stop using the drive through at McDonald's.

I'm going to park the car and walk in !

[Richard Petty]

I bought a box of spam teabags last night…

They do nothing for my sex life but they do stop my biscuits going soft when I dunk them

[Richard Petty]

A woman was in court for shoplifting. The judge said, "What did you take?"
"A tin of pears." She replied,

"How many pears in the tin?"
"6" she said

"Ok, I'm giving you 6 weeks in prison to teach you a lesson."

Her husband stood up & said, "Excuse me, she also took a large tin of peas!"

[Richard Petty]

I gave my missus a bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day.

She said, "Aw, thanks, I love you loads Honeybear."

"And I love you tons," I replied.

"What, no nickname for me"? she asked

I swear she's going deaf!