STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

I'm going on a camping holiday but I'm not happy with my travel insurance.

Apparently, if my tent blows away during the night I'll no longer be covered...

[Anon E Mouse]

My granddad always used to say;
"As one door closes, another one opens..."

Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

[Richard Petty]

My grandad was told by his doctor that he should take steps to improve his health

God knows what we are going to do with all the ladders in the garage that he has stolen

[Anon E Mouse]

A friend of mine suggested horse manure on my strawberries. Not doing that again, I'm going back to cream.

[BillB]

A friend of mine suggested horse manure on my strawberries. Not doing that again, I'm going back to cream.

You should have tried pig manure it's a lot runnier

[Anon E Mouse]

The Three Musketeers Football Club have had some good pre-season results…

4-1
4-1
4-1
4-1
4-1
4-1
4-4

[Anon E Mouse]

Yesterday I changed a lightbulb, walked into a pub and crossed a road…

My whole life has become a joke…

[Fuggletim]

I visited Pompeii and decided I liked the T x Shirts of the Amphitheatre. I asked the vendor did he have XL? He said he had 3, but could order the other 37 in…

[Graham Stovold]

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large
Plastic rubbish bags behind her.
One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out
Onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Madam, there
Are £20 notes falling out of your bag?'
'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. 'I'd better go back,
And see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me..'
'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that
Money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?'
'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my backyard is right
Next to the football stadium car park. On match days, a lot of fans
Come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand
Behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his
Thing through the fence, I say, "£20 or off it comes!"'
'Well, that seems only fair.' laughs the cop. 'OK? Good luck! Oh,
By the way, what's in the other bag?'
'Well, you know...', says the little old lady, 'Not everybody
Pays....!'

[Anon E Mouse]

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large
Plastic rubbish bags behind her.
One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out
Onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Madam, there
Are £20 notes falling out of your bag?'
'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. 'I'd better go back,
And see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me..'
'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that
Money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?'
'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my backyard is right
Next to the football stadium car park. On match days, a lot of fans
Come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand
Behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his
Thing through the fence, I say, "£20 or off it comes!"'
'Well, that seems only fair.' laughs the cop. 'OK? Good luck! Oh,
By the way, what's in the other bag?'
'Well, you know...', says the little old lady, 'Not everybody
Pays....!'

Knob Gag.

[Anon E Mouse]

I’ve just finished reading a book about a bank vault.

It was quite hard to get into.

[Anon E Mouse]

I went to the funfair yesterday but there was a long queue for the ghost train as they were working with a skeleton staff…

[Alfie]

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.

There are 5 people in my family so in must either be my Mum or Dad , or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho chu wong.
I think its Colin.

[Anon E Mouse]

For her birthday my wife wanted tickets for a cruise to Denmark to see The Temptations...

But as times are hard, instead I drove to Primark to get her four tops.

[Anon E Mouse]

My wife is very particular about how we catalogue our electrical cables. I *think* she wants me to arrange them in reverse alphabetical order, but I don't want to put the SCART before the aux.