STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[New recruit]

What have an elephant and a plum got in common

They are both purple except for the elephant

[New recruit]

Two fish in a tank ... A man walks up and says can I ask what kind of fish are you
One fish turns to the other and says
Don't tell him Pike

[New recruit]

Does anyone realise if you are waiting for a waiter that makes you the waiter. ?

[New recruit]

This is all getting a little silly and to be Frank I would have to change my name

[Fuggletim]

Glad RC enjoyed his "Quality Control" check.......

Anyway, I was on Jury Service last week and there was a trial concerning a man who had stolen 23 x cans of Tennent's Super Strength. It was dropped as there wasn't really a case.....

[New recruit]

What's white and wears checked trousers

Rupert the Fridge

[Fuggletim]

As one door closes, another one opens. I just hate self assembly furniture....

[Old Bob]

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

As regulars know, Old Bob rather likes jokes that turn on the type-token distinction. Here's a favourite:

SCHOOLMASTER: Attention, boys! Today we are going to study singular and plural nouns. Now boys, take the noun "trousers"; is it singular or plural?
BOY: Please, Sir, singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

[Chalkie]

My Dr told me to lose some weight.
I said how?
He said don't eat anything fatty.
I said what, pies, chips, that kind of thing?
He said no, just don't eat anything..... fatty.

[Anon E Mouse]

My doctor told me I’m suffering from paranoia.

He didn’t actually say that, but I could tell that was what he was thinking.

[Shots1954]

I'm terrified of elevators so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.

[Shots1954]

Have you heard of the band 923 Megabytes? Probably not, they haven't had a gig yet.

[Shots1954]

I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Never again.

[Shots1954]

I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over......

[Shots1954]

I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.