STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Graham Stovold]

There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it.
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '
'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter...
Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose....(yep, sure are)

[Anon E Mouse]

My wife and I are both tightrope walkers.

We met online...

[Anon E Mouse]

I was sitting on the edge of my bed last night pulling my boxers off.
My wife says 'you spoil those dogs'

[Anon E Mouse]

I’m trying to find some new Star Wars puns but I think I’ve been looking in Alderaan places ...

May 4th be with you

[Fuggletim]

Thought I would go on holiday to an island off the coast of Cornwall. My other half thought it was a Scilly idea.

[Anon E Mouse]

My Twitter password has been hacked again...

This will be the third time I’ve had to rename the dog...

[Richard Petty]

Had a row with my wife and she stormed out shouting, "Jim Morrison was overrated!"

I hate it when she slams The Doors!

[Richard Petty]

I bought a greyhound yesterday.

My wife said, "Are you going to race him?"

I said, "No, he’s much faster than me!"

[Birdman]

I bought a greyhound yesterday.

My wife said, "Are you going to race him?"

I said, "No, he’s much faster than me!"

Flippin’ ‘eck, Richard, Mousey used that one on Saturday. It’s even on the same page.

[Richard Petty]

I bought a greyhound yesterday.

My wife said, "Are you going to race him?"

I said, "No, he’s much faster than me!"

Flippin’ ‘eck, Richard, Mousey used that one on Saturday. It’s even on the same page.

His Greyhound was was quicker than mine

Ah well they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, does copying a joke count

[Fuggletim]

The ball came over and before it could bounce, I kicked it back with such power it sailed over the other players straight into the top right hand corner of the net! Ecstatic, even though I knew I would get a yellow card, I took my shirt off and went running over the screaming fans.

It was at that point, the team Captain said:

“Tim: you just don’t get the rules of Volleyball, do you?”

[Anon E Mouse]

My cat has just eaten three mallards!

He's a duck filled fatty puss.

[Fuggletim]

I have invented a pen which has a small bell at the end of it. The patent is pen ding…….

[Richard Petty]

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “I am leaving you, this isn’t working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!

[Richard Petty]

It’s really important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.