STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

Police have arrested the World Tongue Twister champion.

They said he will be given a tough sentence.

[Fuggletim]

Got hit by a hire car the other day. It really Hertz....

[Richard Petty]

Robber: Give me all your money or your Chemistry
Victim: Don't you mean History
Robber: Don't change the subject

[Richard Petty]

Phone sex ?

No thanks I have Virgin Mobile

[Fuggletim]

A new type of rap music has evolved on the African Savannah! It's Hiphopopotamus!

[Anon E Mouse]

“I was diagnosed with Leslie Nielsen syndrome at the Doctors surgery today…”

“Oh! What is it?”

“It’s a place where they examine patients, but that’s not important right now…”

[Calling the shots]

"Thank you. I've been dying to come here for a while." he said, as he entered the Swiss clinic.

[Calling the shots]

“I was diagnosed with Leslie Nielsen syndrome at the Doctors surgery today…”

“Oh! What is it?”

“It’s a place where they examine patients, but that’s not important right now…”

Siri told me to stop calling her Shirley. I realised I left my phone on Airplane mode.

[Calling the shots]

Cockney amputees are 'armless.

[Calling the shots]

I sent my hearing aids off for repair last week, but I've heard nothing since.

[Calling the shots]

A man is sitting in the pub after a long day, drinking a pint. As he sits there, mulling over his day, a voice shouts "Hope you have a good day!" He looks round and there's nobody there. He's a little bit confused for a moment but then thinks nothing of it. Five minutes later, he hears the same voice again. This time it says "I like your clothes!" At this point he's a bit weirded out, but he carries on and finishes his pint. Before he leaves he hears the voice once more, and this time it says "nice hair mate!" The man is very confused now, so he asks the bartender what is going on. "Hey, barman! What is that voice I keep hearing? Am I hearing things?"

The barman replies "Oh don't worry, that happens all the time. It's the peanuts! They're complimentary!"

[Calling the shots]

BREAKING: There has been an accident on the M62 along with an apparent theft of motorway signage. Police are looking for Leeds.

[Calling the shots]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

[Calling the shots]

A german tourist jumped in the water to save a dog who was drowning. After climbing out, he gave the dog back to the very distressed owner and said "here is ze dog. Keep him warm and dry him off he vill be fine." The owner said "Thank you, but are you a vet?"

"Vet?!" he said. "I'm bloody soaking."

[Calling the shots]

I've hurt my foot and need to go to the doctor's surgery to get it checked out.

Hopefully he'll heal my heel.