STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Fuggletim]

I have created a new board game called “Bonopoly.” It’s like “Monopoly” but the streets have no name……

[Anon E Mouse]

I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I supposed to know when it's raining in Sweden?

[Fuggletim]

I was always a bit wary of eating a Victoria Sponge, but it was a piece of cake….

[brian bloomfield]

Mark and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

Mark says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering…have you ever cheated on me?”

Becky replies, “Oh Mark, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…”

“Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please…”

“Well, all right. Yes, three times…” she admitted.

“Three? Well, when were they?” he asked.

“Well, Mark, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start your own business and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”

“Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number two?” he asked.

“Well, Mark, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?” she said.

“I can’t believe it! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me. I couldn’t be more moved. So, all right then, when was number three?” he asked, racking his brain.

“Well, Mark, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?”

[Anon E Mouse]

Last year I booked a table for me and the wife for Valentines Day…

Total waste of time and she couldn't even pot a red!

[Anon E Mouse]

For the past 20 years I've received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year. First my granny dies and now this.

[WTF]

This Valentine's thing is doing my head in, looking at different websites I dont know whether to give the wife 6 Rose's, 12 Rose's or just give her the whole tin......

[Fuggletim]

I bought a boomerang on Amazon! It has a 100% return policy!!

[Anon E Mouse]

This Valentine's thing is doing my head in, looking at different websites I dont know whether to give the wife 6 Rose's, 12 Rose's or just give her the whole tin......

Tub

[Anon E Mouse]

There is a nudist convention on in town next weekend…

I might go if I have nothing on!

[beechcroft]

The only person who has ever known what there were doing in the Houses Of Parliament was Guy Fawkes

[beechcroft]

Did you hear about the guy who walked into a Paris Rstaurant and shot a guy 5 times, it's a shame cos you go in to buy some snails, and come out with slugs !!