STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Mon Dec 05, 2022 7:51 pm

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even!

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Mon Dec 05, 2022 8:17 pm

My mate has just text to tell me he’s got a golf ball stuck up his bum. The docs have said it’s gone up a fairway!!!

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Mon Dec 05, 2022 9:09 pm

Some people like playing Battleships and some don’t. It’s a bit hit and miss really…..

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Tue Dec 06, 2022 6:44 am

So a soldier who was renting my house has done a runner owing me 6 months rent!!

He told me he was a General but I've since discovered he's a Left Tenant!!

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Tue Dec 06, 2022 12:24 pm

I used to go out with a girl called Lyndsey Doyle...

She smelt like a cricket bat.

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Wed Dec 07, 2022 6:52 pm

In other news today, a fire alarm at the “Black & Decker” factory was, in fact, only a drill…….

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Wed Dec 07, 2022 11:06 pm

I've just come home to find my wife has been on Ebay all day long.
If she's still on there tomorrow, I'll have to lower her price.

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 8:27 am

Two chess players were in a hotel lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.
The manager comes over,
"Could you go to your rooms now, please?"
"Why?!”
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 11:42 am

I thought I could heard Tubular Bells on my farm last Christmas

Turned out it was just my cold field..

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 1:45 pm

The guy that invented autocorrect has sadly died. May he roast in piss.

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 3:46 pm

Brrrrr it’s cold !!

This morning a skeletal hooded figure helped me scrape my car windscreen.

It was only later I realised I'd been de-icing with death...

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 9:47 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote: ↑Thu Dec 08, 2022 8:27 am Two chess players were in a hotel lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.
The manager comes over,
"Could you go to your rooms now, please?"
"Why?!”
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

I actually had a meal with Gary Kasparov once. The problem was the restaurant had used a chequered tablecloth and it took 2 x hours for Gary to pass me the ketchup…

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 9:58 pm

A man has been admitted to hospital this evening with 24 plastic toy horses inserted into his rectum.
The doctors have said his condition is stable.

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Dec 08, 2022 10:33 pm

I couldn't undo the buttons on my Christmas jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm now in A&E waiting to see a cardyologist...

Jonty1 · Post by **Jonty1** » Fri Dec 09, 2022 9:41 pm

A man’s been found dead in a ice cream van apparently he was covered in strawberry sauce & hundreds & thousands police say he must have topped himself

ShotsWeb

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