STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

Parked in a spot that was reserved for witches. When I got back there was a warning on my car saying "you will be toad".

[Richard Petty]

A little known fact, there is a Patron Saint of checking bread rolls before removing from the oven…

Saint John The Bap Test!

[Richard Petty]

My mate was telling me that he failed his exam in Aboriginal music...

I said, "Didja redo it?"

[Richard Petty]

There was a fire drill at IKEA today…

We all assembled in the car park!

[Fuggletim]

Going beyond Halloween, it always makes me wonder how we are told in Summer that one careless match can start a heathland fire and yet on November 05th it takes a whole box of “Bryant and May” to light the bonfire!

[Richard Petty]

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today…

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy!

[Richard Petty]

I was in London the other day when a tourist came up to me and said, "Do you know the best way to Selfridges?"

I said, "advertising on Facebook, or failing that, eBay!

[Fuggletim]

I was invited to a bonfire night do last year and was asked to bring some bangers and some rocket. I think the fact no-one liked my sausage and peppery herb sandwiches was quite disrespectful.

[Fuggletim]

They reckon you should never go back to a firework after you have lit it. I haven’t been out in my garden now since 2018……….

[redandbluescb]

woeking fc.

[Richard Petty]

A elderly man driving on the freeway in Virginia rear-ended a guy driving an expensive car, enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.

He yells, "Look what you did to my car…!!!”
"You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"

"Oh my…" the old man said nervously, "I don't have that kind of money.”

“Let me call my son…,” he said, “he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."

"Dolphins..!?!?!" the other driver huffed, while rolling his eyes, how's that going to help you.

The old man pulled out his phone, dialled his son, and just as his son answered, the irate man snatched the phone away from the old man.

"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh..?!?!” The irate man yelled, “Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need TEN GRAND right now, or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp…!!"

"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.

Exactly 10 minutes later, a car pulls up and a guy gets out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.

When he finished, he walked over to his father and said….

"For the last time dad, I train Seals… Navy Seals.”

“NOT dolphins..!!”

[Anon E Mouse]

I’m going to have to return the camouflage jacket I bought last week...

I just can’t see myself wearing it.

[Fuggletim]

I got to wondering that when a Jehovah’s Witness passes away and they knock on the door to Heaven, does St Peter pretend not to be in like everyone else?

[Richard Petty]

I got to wondering that when a Jehovah’s Witness passes away and they knock on the door to Heaven, does St Peter pretend not to be in like everyone else?

Next time a Jehovah's witness comes to the door fling it open tell them you have been hoping they would come round and invite them in, it confuses them so much they panic and leave.

[Fuggletim]

I got to wondering that when a Jehovah’s Witness passes away and they knock on the door to Heaven, does St Peter pretend not to be in like everyone else?

Next time a Jehovah's witness comes to the door fling it open tell them you have been hoping they would come round and invite them in, it confuses them so much they panic and leave.

I used to try and sell them raffle tickets for the charities I support when they knocked my door……… I didn’t sell many!