STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Graham Stovold]

"I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.”"

[Chalkie]

I was in London last night, had a few beers and noticed two very large women at the bar.
They both had strong accents, so I asked "hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?"
One of them turned to me and screamed "its WALES you IDIOT."
I immediately apologised and said "sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

That's all I remember!!!

[Chalkie]

I stopped trusting English when my teacher said "Give her her pen" is correct
but "Give him him pen" is wrong.

[Anon E Mouse]

Scientist 'We've taught a dog how to send morse code'
Dog taps paw several times on the table.
Bloke 'what did he say' ?
Scientist 'woof'

[Fuggletim]

I made a wooden cabinet and entered it in a furniture manufacturing competition. I won it jointly with someone else! It was a drawer…..

[Tices Shot]

I am reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen.

I can feel it

[Anon E Mouse]

To Err is Human
To Arrr is Pirate

[Anon E Mouse]

Fred Daphne and Shaggy ....can you name one of Africa's big 5 animals ?

'Rhino'

'I know you do Scooby, but it's not your turn'

[Fuggletim]

RETRO TYPEWRITER FOR SALE,

P rf ct w r ing cond ti n

[Richard Petty]

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it will actually keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough

[Fuggletim]

After the conviction of an arsonist for burning down a butchers, the Police issued a statement saying that they considered their investigation had been well done….

[Anon E Mouse]

Who's there?

Britney Spears.

Britney Spears who?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Oops I did It again!

[Fuggletim]

I’ve been stuck trying to get out of Rome in my car for 2 x weeks now! The road signs just don’t seem to make sense about where to go!

[Anon E Mouse]

What do you call a lizard that doesn’t work?

A reptile dysfunction.

[Fuggletim]

I’m glad The Proclaimers aren’t French. I don’t think that “I’m gonna be (804.7 Kilometers)” would have been a hit…..