STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

My wife told me, "Sex is better on holiday."

Not the best postcard I've ever received!

[Anon E Mouse]

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird.

[Fuggletim]

The internet is a funny thing isn’t it? I mean one day you are looking at random pages on it and a few days later you are looking at recruitment pages for a new job…….

[Anon E Mouse]

My friend keeps saying, “Cheer up, it could be worse, you could get stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well.

[Anon E Mouse]

BREAKING: A mass fight has broken out in a petrol station.

23 People arrested in Total!

[Anon E Mouse]

Heard there’s a place in France where people always wear clothing a size bigger than they need

Some say its Toulouse.

[Richard Petty]

Having a good life or not really is a matter of perspective.

A friend of mine who is only in his 40's doesnt have to work, has all his meals cooked for him, gets to work out twice a day. Gets time to read at least two books a week and even gets offers of sex on a daily basis.

You would think he would be happy but he is always moaning about his life in prison.

[Anon E Mouse]

A police officer called the station on his radio.

"I need backup here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"Not yet. The floor's still wet!"

[Fuggletim]

I bought something at the supermarket the other day, but found out it didn’t work. The following day I took it back and was declined a refund or a replacement even though I had the receipt! I asked to see the Manager but he also confirmed I was not getting my money back or a replacement.

I won’t be buying a Euromillions ticket there again……

[Triggers Broom]

I just bought a 96 inch state of the art TV to watch the premier league next season only to discover there are no Leeds

[Richard Petty]

I just bought a 96 inch state of the art TV to watch the premier league next season only to discover there are no Leeds

Was the TV delivered in a Luton van

[80fc]

I just bought a 96 inch state of the art TV to watch the premier league next season only to discover there are no Leeds

Was the TV delivered in a Luton van

Stick to your ordinary tv they cost Leicester run

[Richard Petty]

I just bought a 96 inch state of the art TV to watch the premier league next season only to discover there are no Leeds

Was the TV delivered in a Luton van

Stick to your ordinary tv they cost Leicester run

Now that just Spurs me on to come up with another gag from my Arsenal of Jokes

[Anon E Mouse]

I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog poo.

A minute later, some guy did exactly the same.

I said to him, "I just did that!"

So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard!

[Anon E Mouse]

Last week, my next door neighbour asked me, "Seeing as our houses are the same design, can I ask how many rolls of wallpaper you bought to decorate the living room?"

"Thirteen," I said.

Today, he came round looking angry. "I've got three rolls left over!"

"So did I!" I said.