STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Richard Petty]

It’s really important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

[Anon E Mouse]

Breaking News that Superstar Beyonce has just found out that her father is the late British entertainer Roy Castle. A spokesman for the star has told us that Beyonce is very excited about the news but we have advised her not to use his surname.

[Anon E Mouse]

Dogs can't use MRI machines but catscan

[Chalkie]

I need to know why everyone said I could save money by bring lunch into work.

It's now 10am and I've already eaten the lunch.

Now I have to buy another lunch for lunch.

[Anon E Mouse]

Well, just been notified that I have won a trip to Spain with £2k spending money for six people!

I know it's short notice, but if anyone is free between 1st and 10th June...

…Can you put my wheelie bin out?

[Anon E Mouse]

I phoned the local paper to put a classified ad in.

"How much is an advert?" I asked.

"£1.50 per inch," they said.

I said, "Forget it, it's a thirty foot ladder!"

[Richard Petty]

I phoned the local paper to put a classified ad in.

"How much is an advert?" I asked.

"£1.50 per inch," they said.

I said, "Forget it, it's a thirty foot ladder!"

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

[Richard Petty]

My older relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

[Fuggletim]

I just bought a roll of bin liners at Tesco. I bet I just end up chucking them away…..

[Stenhouse]

This thread is a joke.

[Fuggletim]

Had an Indian takeaway last night and bought Naan bread. She was really annoyed as she said she wanted a poppadum…….

[Anon E Mouse]

Got a brown envelope through the letter box with the words 'Do not Bend' on it.
I thought 'how am I going to pick that up ?'

[Anon E Mouse]

I have a pen that can write underwater…

It can write other words as well!

[Richard Petty]

I have a pen that can write underwater…

It can write other words as well!

Reminds me of the wonderful story (and it is fact) of how the NASA in the 1960's spent over a million Dollars (nearly nine million in todays money commissioning the Fisher Pen Company to develop a pen that would write in space. The Russians used pencils.

(The bit of the story not so well known is that the Russians did in later years purchase the pens themselves as they were quite efficient)

[Richard Petty]

The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.