STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Wed Mar 29, 2023 9:14 pm

I used to play a musical instrument on cruise ships’.

‘Piano ?’

‘No, Cunard’...

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Mar 30, 2023 2:55 pm

I asked a woman for a date once, but she said no because I had a face like the back of a boat.

I didn't reply, I just gave her a stern look..

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Thu Mar 30, 2023 3:30 pm

Asked by the job interviewer what experience I have with handling complaints...
My response, "21 years married."
I start next week!

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Fri Mar 31, 2023 5:29 pm

The first rule of ‘Patronising Club’ is pretty complicated and I’m not sure you’d understand it.

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Fri Mar 31, 2023 5:46 pm

I knew an Argentinian man who became a woman. He was known as Senor Rita………

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Sun Apr 02, 2023 10:55 am

My flight back from Gibraltar to Glasgow has just been cancelled.

Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place...

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Sun Apr 02, 2023 12:31 pm

Is a lazy baby Kangeroo a “Pouch Potato?”

Yorkieshot · Post by **Yorkieshot** » Sun Apr 02, 2023 4:59 pm

My Doctor told me i had a heathly Prostate..I was deeply touched

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Mon Apr 03, 2023 3:17 pm

Went to a restaurant last night and they had ‘Napoleon Chicken’ on the menu.

I asked the waiter what this was, he said; “There’s no meat - only the boney part...”

Anon E Mouse · Post by **Anon E Mouse** » Tue Apr 04, 2023 2:10 pm

Got a taxi to the launderette. Cost me £30!

I felt like I’d been taken to the cleaners...

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Wed Apr 05, 2023 10:52 pm

As a Police Negotiator, I once spent 3 x hours talking a guy down off of a bridge. The “Bungee” jump master wasn’t happy….

Richard Petty · Post by **Richard Petty** » Wed Apr 12, 2023 10:19 pm

I've recently started using food in my magic act. I start by crushing garlic, basil and pine nuts and then I blend them together with grated parmesan and olive oil…

Hey Pesto!

Richard Petty · Post by **Richard Petty** » Wed Apr 12, 2023 10:20 pm

I knew it was a bad idea agreeing to go onto Family Fortunes.

Vernon said, "We asked one hundred people to name something you mix into an alcoholic beverage?"

You said, "Rohypnol, our survey said..."

The police now want a word!

Chalkie · Post by **Chalkie** » Sat Apr 15, 2023 10:45 am

Just got myself an emotional support animal.

It's a pig. Not the whole pig...............

OK, OK, it's bacon

Shots1954 · Post by **Shots1954** » Sat Apr 15, 2023 12:10 pm

The best pasta I ever bought was from spaghetti junction.........

ShotsWeb

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