STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

I thought I could heard Tubular Bells on my farm last Christmas

Turned out it was just my cold field..

[Anon E Mouse]

The guy that invented autocorrect has sadly died. May he roast in piss.

[Anon E Mouse]

Brrrrr it’s cold !!

This morning a skeletal hooded figure helped me scrape my car windscreen.

It was only later I realised I'd been de-icing with death...

[Fuggletim]

Two chess players were in a hotel lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.
The manager comes over,
"Could you go to your rooms now, please?"
"Why?!”
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

I actually had a meal with Gary Kasparov once. The problem was the restaurant had used a chequered tablecloth and it took 2 x hours for Gary to pass me the ketchup…

[Anon E Mouse]

A man has been admitted to hospital this evening with 24 plastic toy horses inserted into his rectum.
The doctors have said his condition is stable.

[Anon E Mouse]

I couldn't undo the buttons on my Christmas jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm now in A&E waiting to see a cardyologist...

[Jonty1]

A man’s been found dead in a ice cream van apparently he was covered in strawberry sauce & hundreds & thousands police say he must have topped himself

[Anon E Mouse]

A man’s been found dead in a ice cream van apparently he was covered in strawberry sauce & hundreds & thousands police say he must have topped himself

Oldie but Goldie. One of the best

[Fuggletim]

My coffee tasted quite sad this morning. Think it was Desspreso…..

[Anon E Mouse]

Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking kinda sad. Maybe I should let her in ?

[Anon E Mouse]

Starting dating a girl that works at the Zoo, my Mum likes her too. Think she's a Keeper

[Fuggletim]

My vegetable patch has been devastated by this prolonged cold spell, but the iceberg lettuces seem ok…..

[Yorkieshot]

A dwarf was kicked out of a nudist colony.......He kept sticking his nose in everyone's business !

[Fuggletim]

I used to work for blood service as an administrator. Unfortunately my keyboard skills were not too good and I made a lot of type o’s……..

[Anon E Mouse]

Be extra careful on the roads with Christmas just around the corner…

A lot of men will be drinking and getting their wives to drive!