STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, as I need to borrow some chairs!

[Fuggletim]

I bought a new door at a well known DIY store. However I found it wouldn’t open and close when hung, so I took them back to complain.

It took a month to get my money back, and overall I think they just handled it badly…..

[Anon E Mouse]

I went to the Doctor with hearing problems. He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said: “Homer’s a fat dude and Marge has blue hair.”

[Fuggletim]

I had to look after my daughter once when her Mum was away on a training course. I gave her frozen pizza, frozen chicken nuggets and frozen chips! However after being told I was a bad parent, I realised that I should have at least put them in the microwave……

[Anon E Mouse]

How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BLIHBULGT ?

[Anon E Mouse]

I saw a car bumper sticker the other day saying 'I am a Vet and therefore I can drive like an animal'
Made me realise how many Gynaecologist's there are on the roads.

[Anon E Mouse]

Mary had a little skirt, it split right up the sides and everywhere that Mary went the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt it split right up the front, but she never wore that one.

[Anon E Mouse]

I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me £15.

Instead I gave my suit to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it, and put it in the window. I bought it for £4.50!

[Fuggletim]

Our computer team have started putting up a tree with decorations on it!

IT is beginning to look like Christmas!

[Fuggletim]

Tennis news! A famous Wimbledon Champion who dies this week after being hit on the head by a tennis ball, has been buried.

It was a lovely service……..

[Richard Petty]

This year I have decided not to post any Christmas puns on her.

I am sure Yule be glad to hear that

[Richard Petty]

Scientists have discovered the first two people on earth were Cockneys…

Would you Adam and Eve it!

[Richard Petty]

I was directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene.

Some say I'm the fresh and bold approach that theatre needs…

While others think that I ruined the nativity!

[Anon E Mouse]

Just seen that and Donner and Blitzen are for sale on ebay..

Nobody has put a bid in for them yet though..

Wonder if it's cos they're two deer..

[Anon E Mouse]

Bono’s not been feeling very well lately but he’s relieved that he’s only got bad catarrh.

“Well tonight thank God it’s phlegm instead of flu....”