STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

Lollipop Lady
Now there's a job that makes me cross.

[Anon E Mouse]

I dreamt last night of drowning in an ocean of fizzy orange soda.
Took me a while to work out it was just a fanta sea.

[Shots1954]

I saw my Doctor this morning and told him I'm worried about my Alzheimers.

He told me to go home and forget about it..........

[Shots1954]

A man tells his psychiatrist: "Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm Tom Jones. Is this normal?"
Psychiatrist: "Well, it's not unusual..."

[Shots1954]

*****Joke Time*****
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..I just lost it.
"CASE DISMISSED!!"

[Anon E Mouse]

If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, as I need to borrow some chairs!

[Yorkieshot]

Speach Impediment........There's a new support group for the London area call........D.DD.D.DD.D.DD Dave on 02082415411

[Fuggletim]

I bought a new door at a well known DIY store. However I found it wouldn’t open and close when hung, so I took them back to complain.

It took a month to get my money back, and overall I think they just handled it badly…..

[Yorkieshot]

Went into my local book store.. they had a third off all titles.....so i bought The Lion The Witch..

[Anon E Mouse]

I went to the Doctor with hearing problems. He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said: “Homer’s a fat dude and Marge has blue hair.”

[Fuggletim]

I had to look after my daughter once when her Mum was away on a training course. I gave her frozen pizza, frozen chicken nuggets and frozen chips! However after being told I was a bad parent, I realised that I should have at least put them in the microwave……

[Anon E Mouse]

How many Countdown contestants does it take to change a BLIHBULGT ?

[Anon E Mouse]

I saw a car bumper sticker the other day saying 'I am a Vet and therefore I can drive like an animal'
Made me realise how many Gynaecologist's there are on the roads.

[Anon E Mouse]

Mary had a little skirt, it split right up the sides and everywhere that Mary went the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt it split right up the front, but she never wore that one.

[Anon E Mouse]

I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me £15.

Instead I gave my suit to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it, and put it in the window. I bought it for £4.50!