STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

I just took a leaflet out of my letterbox, informing me that I can have sex at 62! . . . I`m so very happy, because I live at 74 . . . so it`s not far to walk
home afterwards!!!!!

[Fuggletim]

Went for a Summer job in a restaurant last year. At the interview, I was asked why did I want the job?

I told them I could bring a lot to the table……

[Anon E Mouse]

Sometimes I wake up grumpy.

But other times I let her sleep in.

[Anon E Mouse]

It’s important to check on animals during these chilly nights.
I asked this black and white cow if it was too cold, it said “Cold? I’m absolutely Friesian!”

[Anon E Mouse]

I read a book about sponges.

It was really absorbing.

[Anon E Mouse]

This morning I was told to leave my job as an Accountant which I've done since 2015, and I don’t know why...

That was a waste of 9 years of my life!

[Anon E Mouse]

I went to the best ever burger van ever today ....

It was so good, it had 4 Michelin tyres.

[Anon E Mouse]

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a splint out of matchsticks...

His little face lit up when he tried to walk!

[Anon E Mouse]

My wife kicked me out of the house because my Arnold Schwarzenegger impression was really bad. But don’t worry...

I’ll return.

[Fuggletim]

I get that! My other half comes from the Philippines and when I last did my famous rendition of Douglas McArthur leaving the country after the Japanese invasion in WW2, she also told me to leave.

I said I shall come back……

[Anon E Mouse]

Billy has 5 albums by Morrissey and he buys 2 more, what does Billy have?

Depression, Billy has depression

[Anon E Mouse]

My wife told me to stop acting like a Flamingo, so at that point I had to put my foot down.

[Fuggletim]

A slice of Hovis and a slice of Kingsmill got married the other day. All went ok until it came to toast the happy couple……

[Anon E Mouse]

Hired this Polish girl to hoover my living room but she took over 3 hours, turns out she was a slovak

[Fuggletim]

I dropped a few hints to my other half that I would like an “Apple” product for my birthday. To be fair, I did end up enjoying that can of Strongbow….