STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

I was in Tesco earlier, and I said to the checkout lady, "This has got today's date on it love. Can I get something knocked off?"

She said, "Do you want the bloody newspaper or not?"

[Fuggletim]

I went into HMV in Guildford today and asked if the had anything by “The Doors.”

They told me a Security Guard, some baskets and a fire extinguisher…..

[Fuggletim]

For Sale:

Genuine vintage Sooty and Sweep puppets! I am open to offers as I just want them off my hands…..

[Anon E Mouse]

Money is a bit tight, so I'm not buying any apples this Halloween.

That should save me a bob or two...

[Yorkieshot]

The sex position 69 has now been changed to 96 ,due to the cost of living crisis , it's now dearer to eat out

[Anon E Mouse]

Now that the clocks have gone back, I’ve put up a marquee in my garden with flashing lights and funky music.

Is this the winter of my disco tent?

[Fuggletim]

I left my role in cyber security in MI6. I just couldn’t hack it anymore…..

[Anon E Mouse]

I’ve got an irrational fear of speed bumps...

But I’m slowly getting over it.

[Anon E Mouse]

Brain:
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it

Me:
“Starting to get dark already...”

[Fuggletim]

A UFO landed in Manor Park. A crowd assembled and watched in awe as the occupants stepped out and started giving out cans of Fosters, Victoria Bitter and several rounds of Vegemite sandwiches to them.

Yes, they were Australiens……….

[Anon E Mouse]

I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company...

I'm now the main stake holder...

[Anon E Mouse]

Last year I opened the door to a kid doing ‘trick or treat’ in a Gloria Gaynor mask!

At first I was afraid...

[Fuggletim]

I just could not remember who founded the “People’s Republic of China in 1949. I asked my cat for what it was worth, but all she could say was “Mao”………

[Fuggletim]

I just could not remember who founded the “People’s Republic of China in 1949. I asked my cat for what it was worth, but all she could say was “Mao”………

After realising my cat was right, I decided to ask her who had been responsible for more deaths than anyone else?

She again said “Mao” but after looking at my disbelief, she added “But it might have been Ghengis Khan or Adolf Hitler…..”

[Anon E Mouse]

I'm thinking of sleeping on the wife's side of the bed…

Apparently from that side, you don't hear the kids crying or the dog barking to go out!