STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Fuggletim]

I opened up my sock draw and decided I was going to throw them all away! I got cold feet though, and didn’t do it eventually…..

[Chalkie]

I bought a pair of trainers from my drug dealer yesterday.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

[Anon E Mouse]

Been saving this one up for Anon E Mouse while the board was off.

A tornado ripped the roof off my house, scattering all the waltz music LPs in my loft, and that's how I got post-storm attic Strauss disorder.

It's a doozy
Worth the wait

[Anon E Mouse]

I went into my local printers and said;

"I need a 2 metre ‘A’, a 2 metre ‘S’ and a 2 metre ‘K’ and I need them by tomorrow…”

He said, "I'll see what I can do but it's a big ask...”

[Anon E Mouse]

I once met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in our local park...

She sells C cells by the seesaw...

[Anon E Mouse]

I went into the Police station and saw a man with three stripes on his arm and a trifle on his head...

He was the custardy sergeant.

[Richard Petty]

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the 'telephone' he had just made from a string and two tin cans…

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

[Richard Petty]

Luciano Pavarotti left me his camper van…

It's a Nissan Dorma!

[Richard Petty]

My friend's wife left him last week. She said she was going out for milk and never came back...

I asked him how he was coping.
He said, "Not bad. I've been using some of that powdered stuff!"

[Fuggletim]

I was in Aldershot last week and someone came up to me and asked if I could spend a couple of minutes for “Diabetes Research.”

I told them that I was happy to do this, but to be honest, I didn’t think we would get much done in that time….

PS: I do have Diabetes by the way!

[Richard Petty]

Are you sweating whilst putting fuel in your car? Feeling sick when paying?

You have got the carownervirus

[Anon E Mouse]

“I’ve just got a new Twitter follower, a lady from a city in North West Italy”

“Genoa?”

“Not very well, no...”

[Anon E Mouse]

I just opened my fridge and it really smells of basil...

I think it’s faulty.

[Chalkie]

"What happens after you die?"

"Lots of things happen after you die-
-They just don't involve you"

[Fuggletim]

My Daughter was telling me about her new boyfriend. I asked was he a nice person?

She told me he must be as he is just stated doing 500 x hours of Community Service……….