STICKY : Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Richard Petty]

I haven’t kept up my subscription to Scrabble Club...

Now they’ve started sending me threatening letters...

I had the same problem with my lapsed subscription to the Monopoly Club. I have been told I have to go directly to jail....

And I also have the same problem with my subscription to Cluedo and they are very threatening over the outstanding payments. They are threatening to send Colonel Mustard round to attack me with a lead pipe in the dining room.

[Richard Petty]

The police just knocked at my house to tell me my dog was chasing a kid on a bike…

I just closed the door on them because my dog doesn't even have a bike!

[Richard Petty]

Palaeontologists are having a big party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia…

It's going to be quite a shindig!

[Fuggletim]

I went to see the "Royal Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra" the other day. It was really good, but the triangle player never came back after the interval......

[Anon E Mouse]

Just watched a documentary all about Anne Boleyn...

There is no mention whatsoever of her sister Tenpin...

[Fuggletim]

I lost my pianist job in a Wild West saloon. Nobody told me I had to stop when a stranger walked in....

[Anon E Mouse]

I've been diagnosed with a rare type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands.

There is no cure.

[Fuggletim]

I was busking in Union Street last week! I thought my rendition of "Roxanne" was really good, but then the Police turned up....

[Anon E Mouse]

I was thinking of having a tattoo for my birthday this year...

But I'm not too keen on bagpipes, and I don't think our garden is big enough?

[Anon E Mouse]

"It's important we remember the true meaning of Easter" says The Archbishop of Cadbury...

[Anon E Mouse]

Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

[Anon E Mouse]

My mate thinks that alcohol is the answer to everything. That's why he's no longer on our Quiz team.

[Anon E Mouse]

Two cats are having a swimming race.

One is called “One two three”, the other “Un deux trois”. Which cat won?

“One two three” because “Un deux trois cat sank”.

[Fuggletim]

I worked for a company repairing Royal Navy submarines at HMS Dolphin, but the company went under.

[Anon E Mouse]

Lance is an uncommon name these days, however in medieval times people were named Lance a lot...