ShotsWeb

On a beautiful autumn day two motorcyclist were driving through Wales. They stopped at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrollantysiliogogogoch for lunch, and one of the riders asked the waitress, 'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very s...

In America, a truck carrying Worcestershire sauce crashes:

Dispatcher: What's the situation?

Deputy: It's hard to say

So three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic. Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away so; it takes them ten days to get there. When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. 'Ok Roy give me the bottle opene...

The England squad visited an orphanage in Germany today.

"It's heart breaking to see the despair and lack of hope on their faces" said Dieter, aged 6.

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "Congrats!".

But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".

Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only results matter.

My wife has just started going through the change.....Bless her.

It's going to be really weird calling her John...

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quite whilst she cooked dinner.............

So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm!

Historians in Ireland have discovered what they believe to be the headstone of the worlds oldest living man.

He was 193 and his name was Miles from Dublin.

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.

"Did you smell that food?" she asked, "It smells absolutely incredible!"

Being a kind-hearted Scotsman, he thought "What the hell, I'll treat her!"

So, they walked past it again!

I was in a taxi last night and the taxi driver said "I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do......"
Then I said, "TURN LEFT"

I can't afford an Ancestry DNA Kit to learn about my relatives.

so instead, I posted online that I had won the lottery.

Wife - How would you describe me?

Me - A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K

Wife - What does that mean?

Me - Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot

Wife - Aw. Thank you, but what about I,J,K?

Me - I'm Just Kidding!

Fuggletim wrote: ↑Wed Sep 27, 2023 10:10 pm I have always thought it was strange that “Flat Earthers” want to spread their beliefs around the World…..

The earth is 71% water, that is uncarbonated.

So, technically flat.

They say cows are bad for the environment.
All they do is eat plants and fart.

kinda like vegans.

Glass Coffins.....

Will they be popular?

Remains to be seen........