ShotsWeb

The old peoples home was built for the good Dr. so that he would not have to fork out so much for travel costs

Happy with that, already bagged first pickings for penthouse suites at EastBank End.

If interested in booking my new company, Royle’s Firing Squad, let me know.

We aim to please.

I dreamt I saw Death, War, Famine, and Conquest all riding towards me. Each one looked as if they wanted to kiss me.

Yes they were the four horsemen of the puckered lips.

POLICE NOTICE - Thieves who stole 3 ton of Tarmac have now been lying low now for 2 months.

A spokesman for the police said "we expect them to resurface soon"

I attended the Shots End Of Season Fancy Dress Party this year dressed as a spoon.

Caused quite a stir I can tell you.

SHOTS INSURANCE LTD

Do YOU appear in the form of a water droplet?

Are YOU found on grass and windows in the morning?

If so, YOU may be due condensation.

The Beastie Boys have just released a five part anthology . Parts A through to D are free, but you have to fight for your right to Part E.

I’ve just hired an Owl to defend me in court regarding my slander case regarding Carol Kirkwood.

It’s an Attorney Owl.

I’ve just found out that our doctor jim royal is carol kirkwoods mystery man i new he had a soft spot for her. This is not a joke. Spell me name right, Royle ..... only if Carol reads this it could cost her job at the Beeb. And yes, the rumour of me and her COULD be true ! Just seen Stenhouse Shot w...