ShotsWeb

I heard that shahid couldn’t put a fag paper between the final 3. To decide the successful candidate, he decided to make them sit through a thirty minute recording of Richard Petty jokes to see who held out the longest, he nailed it after 2 minutes and 45 seconds

Gosport Borough away would be a good one for me.

I don’t understand these “a good point” comments tbh. Unless we get a brucie bonus for a good point,it’s just one point & a lot of fans are blind to the fact that we are progressing well to the trap door of relegation. There is still lots to play for, but winning games is not coming easy for the...

It is interesting that Shahid is being hung out to dry with his hopes of returning to the EFL within 5 years, ground development etc. Who remembers Terry Owens 10 year plan to return the the EFL? The programmes had a dartboard with the bullseye being this moment. I know for a fact many teams showed...

The referee is absolutely not in any way responsible for that utter horror show! I agree that the officials cannot be blamed for our teams dire performance, but the referee & the linesman on the south side have to be the worse I have seen in a long while, and boy, haven’t we had some poor ones....

Very angry scenes here now and rightly so with this performance .... please don't blame the referee for what we have seen this afternoon The referee is absolutely not in any way responsible for that utter horror show! I agree that the officials cannot be blamed for our teams dire performance, but t...

12.30 is the most idiotic of all k/o times. I can cope with 4.30pm k/o's-I remember we k/o'd at that time v Watford in 1974-can't remember why-maybe the Grand National ?-5.30 I can just about cope with ,with all else beyond ok. But 12.30? You'd have to be getting ready/planning your trip NOW (8.55a...

When travelling In extreme weather conditions the government advise you should carry a shovel, flask, wellies, rock salt, hi-viz jacket & a blanket... this may be so, but i looked a complete twat on the bus this morning.

A young woman gives birth to twins ( a boy and a girl). The doctor comes to see her to say that her brother had called to suggest names for the children. "Not that stupid guy" says the woman "but go on what did he want to call the girl?" The doctor replied "Denise" &quo...

I was speaking with a friend earlier. They've just had some bad news from their doctor. They said that their GP has just told them that they're colour blind. I asked "You didn't realise before?". He replied "No, it came completely out of the vellow"

Did you know that there are no canaries on the Canary Islands?

It's the same with the Virgin Islands - there are no canaries there either

I got arrested for stealing a kitchen utensil the other day..

It was a whisk I was willing to take .

"I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.”"

I have to admit, it’s been a long time since I looked on the boom boom thread (mk2), but I had a look today & I have to say a big well done to all the regular posters with their jokes.

It is certainly a nice bit of light hearted relief..well done everyone